Online Dating: Sleeping with the Enemy
Nov 23, 2010 Online Dating News
Some men and women claim to like dating bad guys and bad girls. But what about attracting the really bad ones through internet dating? I’m talking about the hardened criminals.
Criminals do their jail time in order to pay their debt to society. Everyone deserves a shot at love. But do you deserve the right to know if someone you are communicating with through online dating sites is actually a convicted felon?
Most Online Dating Sites Do Not Check Members for Possible Criminal History
But what most of the companies behind internet dating sites say is they do take the security of their members very seriously. Still, for reasons such as cost, hassle, incomplete information as well as inaccuracies, they choose not to conduct background checks of members in the felony and sex offender databases. On the other hand, they don’t want to create a false sense of security to members if they don’t have access to the latest and greatest criminal records.
Some argue that because of the money online dating sites generate, they should pay for criminal background checks as a part of the services they provide to members. A slightly different argument is that online dating sites could upsell members and charge extra for the option of background checks.
But really, how many men and women would want to enter an online dating relationship with a known felon? The answer is probably not too many. Once criminals complete their prison sentence, they are entitled to their rights and freedom again, with the exception of registered sex offenders. Therefore, internet dating companies could open themselves up to potential lawsuits by providing criminal history of members.
Use Caution in Offline or Online Dating
Hopefully, you don’t need an online dating news blog to teach you to be smart about protecting yourself and your privacy. It is safe to say that wherever singles today connect, whether it is at a local coffee shop, nightclub, or an online dating site, people should always exercise caution when getting to know strangers.
Sure, your neighbors could be dangerous and you might not know until it’s too late. However, it’s also quite possible the men and women who act like your neighbors online might not be who they present themselves to be.
If a person wants to hide, it’s easier to do behind a computer screen than in real life. You can create false online dating profiles even with photos fairly easily if you wanted to hide your past.
True.com actually does background checks of every one of its members that signs up for the online dating site. It rejects less than three percent of the people for being convicted felons, which is a statistic in line with the national average.
In the United States, only the state of New Jersey has adopted an internet dating safety law. It requires that online dating sites provide users with safety notices and inform them if they don’t conduct background checks on members.
Tags: background checks, internet dating, online dating news, online dating profiles, singles
Dating scam nets max in prison
Nov 20, 2010 Online Dating News
Online dating sites work best when people are honest. When a man lies about his marital status or a woman lies with the photos in her online dating profile, the entire system suffers, and people lose time as well as confidence in internet dating. It gets worse.
Scamming people in online dating is far more hurtful. Using children as part of the scheme makes it as low as you can go. That’s what this piece of online dating news is about.
Back in August 2010, our online dating blog first told you about an dating scam from a couple in Ohio with buckeyes for brains. Now the Toledo area ringleader will have plenty of time to think about what awful and awfully stupid things he did.
A U.S. District Court judge gave the maximum sentence of 41 months to Kevin Zunk, the Northwood, Ohio man who used an online dating Web site to swindle money from men. Zunk used a twisted plan to make his victims believe they had sent sexually explicit messages and photos to children.
Under federal sentencing guidelines, the 43-year old Zunk was facing a minimum of 33 months in prison for his conviction in U.S. District Court on two counts of extortion. However, we’re pleased to report that instead, Judge Jack Zouhary looked at Zunk’s lengthy criminal history and considered the likelihood that he would commit more crimes. Therefore, he imposed the maximum sentence of 41 months for the crimes. The judge also tacked on probation for one year after Zunk is released from prison.
Zunk the punk and co-defendant Tonya Blaze were arrested in August 2010 for their scheme which targeted gay men who had established personal accounts with MegaMates, a voice driven phone dating service. Victims from 10 different states were duped into believing they had sent nude photos of themselves and sexually explicit text messages to cell phones belonging to preteen boys and girls. But it was Zunk all along.
According to court records, the couple created an extortion system which demanded money from their victims to replace cell phones, pay lawyers, and cover other expenses to make the charges go away. They threatened to report the incidents to authorities as well as the victim’s employers if they did not wire money. The scam netted thousands. It also netted Kevin Zunk plenty of time in prison to be on the receiving end of his own gay dates behind bars whether he likes them or not.
Tags: internet dating, Megamates, ohio dating scam, online dating blog, online dating news, toledo couple
How Low Do You Go in Online Dating?
Sep 29, 2010 Dating True Stories
If you have more than a few minutes of experience in online dating, you know the above question is a fair one to ask. How low do you go in online dating? How low are you willing to go?
Okay, so maybe I’m a Mickey Mouse television journalist turned online dating blog dude. The photo to the left of Mickey and Goofy doesn’t lie. But really, I’m thinking of the low end of the online dating spectrum a little because of myself, but more because of interviews I’ve done recently with online dating users.
I spoke with a woman tonight who genuinely seemed pleased that so far none of the men she’s met online have turned out to be real psychos. Is that how we judge success in this thing called internet dating? On a brighter note, she is hoping her online dating experience gets much better when she meets the guy she’s been wanting to connect with but hasn’t yet due to their continued scheduling conflicts.
A guy I’ve talked to told me he’s lowered his expectations to the point that now when he meets a woman in person who he’s been communicating with online, if she’s within being 25 pounds heavier than her posted photos he considers that okay. Is that really okay to you?
Another attractive woman I know is dealing with her low expectations by intentionally putting up what is essentially a keep away sign on her online dating profile. She’s taken down her photos and listed her home cities as being in both the northern and southern parts of the United States. Is that a good state to finding one’s perfect match or soul mate?
How low do you go? Hopefully, you don’t go low at all. Singles shouldn’t do the limbo for love. No matter how many frogs you kiss that hop onto your path, hold on tight to your high hopes. Remember, it’s only that one prince or princess you are seeking.
Tags: internet dating, online dating blog, online dating profiles, singles
When it comes to UGLY: Where do you look in online dating?
Aug 25, 2010 Dating True Stories
Mister Softee
Today I heard from a friend who read yesterday’s blog post about the online dating site for only the ugly. She asked me some rather thought provoking questions: “So what is ugly? Were you writing about physically ugly or ugliness inside?”
Being a man and a card carrying member of the guy’s club, I immediately acknowledged that I was talking about the physical. For me, it all begins with sexual attraction in online dating. Come to think of it, it often ends with that, too. If sexual attraction is missing in action that is.
Til death do us part is a long, long time to be with someone to whom you view as ugly. Too many marriages of people supposedly in love and attracted to each other don’t work today. Life has too much stress, and there could also be too much temptation.
To enter into a romantic relationship with no sexual attraction seems foolish to me, and destined for divorce. It’s not just about the sexual relationship, but the intimacy, and sharing of trust, pleasure, and excitement that comes with it. Strictly platonic relationships are called friendships.
So, my friend was right. I shouldn’t have overlooked the physically attractive person on the outside who has a busload of ugliness inside. I’ve met my share of those. They don’t work either. Speaking of buses, those relationships are like bus trips that are enjoyable for a short while. But then you find out the driver got lost and the bus breaks down in the middle of nowhere. You’re then stranded, upset and wondering how you got to such a point.
I repeat…I’m a man, and a card-carrying member of the guy’s club. I admit, I’ll always focus on a woman who possesses my interpretation of physical beauty.
I know myself and my deepest longings. I am committed to pursuing a loving relationship with a woman for whom I feel sexual attraction. We will have to connect and be compatible for it to last. But she’s got to be someone I really like, really love, and really lust after. At least that’s the strategy of the internet dating search for me.
I have met some extraordinary women who just didn’t do it for me in the attraction department. I’m quite sure many women I’ve met have felt the same way about me. But we all must stay true to our relationship goals and dreams. So, the bottom line for me is I can’t settle for a woman who is physically or emotionally ugly to me. I could never cheat on my wife. So, I’d rather be alone and continue the hunt through an online dating service. This may be the wrong approach to many, but it feels like the right approach for me.
25 years from now I’ll still hope to be chasing my partner around the house, the garden, the hotel room, or the parking lot of the old folks home. Maybe I’ll forget where my teeth are on some of those occasions. Maybe I’ll be a viagra taking guy who looks like a flagpole on a condemned building. That’s okay.
I loved seeing the Mister Softee ice cream truck every chance I could as a kid. Now I don’t want him sitting outside my house in an intimate relationship.
Tags: internet dating, online dating service, relationships, ugly people
The Online Dating Home of the Brave and UGLY
Aug 24, 2010 Dating Websites
Okay. I know it. I may not be Brad Pitt. I may not be George Clooney. I may not be Robert Redford. I may be goofy. But I know I didn’t fall from the tippy top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
So, what happens if you are ugly? Do you know it? Do you know admit it? Is there really anything such as ugly? As I regularly say about dating and marriage, “This is why Baskin-Robbins makes 31 flavors.” Everyone’s taste in beauty (or ugly) is different.
Now, there is a new website targeting men and women whose beauty may not be held too highly by most beholders. It is supposedly the first dating website for the “undateable.” Mainly it has been launched for the fat and ugly. Attractive chubby chasers are not invited.
The TheUglyBug Ball (Tubb) dating website is now live in London. It was just launched by online entrepreneur Howard James. If it is nothing more than a beautiful publicity stunt for promoting his other online ventures, Howard James has already been successful with this website.
Whether it is lard or legit, James describes the service he is offering through Tubb in an equally creative manner. ”It’s a sad fact that up to half of the United Kingdom is made up of ugly people,” said James. “Yet amazingly nobody has ever thought of providing an online dating service for them. Our site allows people who aren’t attractive, to engage with others like them without fear of ridicule for being ugly or excessively overweight.”
An internet dating site for the unattractive could be an attractive idea since it does serve a niche market. According to Howard James, it’s a big, fat niche in the U.K. However, it does generate some interesting questions. Here are five for consideration:
- Who would join an online dating website for only the ugly?
- Don’t even ugly people hope to upgrade with dating or sexual partners?
- If you did join the site, who do go for…the most ugly or the least ugly?
- What if you strike out with everyone on an ugly dating site? Then what?
- If you did find true love on this website, how could you tell anyone the story of how you met?
The possibilities are endless. Good, bad, or ugly, it’s one of the most beautiful aspects of the internet.
Tags: Howard James, internet dating, online dating, ugly dating site
Sign of the Times: Will Work for Love & Sex
Aug 22, 2010 Dating True Stories
Online dating didn’t need any help from government. The degree of difficulty was already high. We’re in a multi-tasking world of texting while driving, and checking emails while checking out online dating profiles.
(Photo from billionswithzeroknowledge.org)
The men or women you open your heart to in efforts to connect can coldly dump you in an instant. You can be deleted while they’re sitting at a red light or checking out at the supermarket.
It’s A-B-C ya later. It’s “Bam you’re gone” by Blackberry. It’s “No I don’t think so” by iPhone.
Getting the attention of someone online to get an “at bat” to date them can often require a professional public relations effort. You’ve got to create the fantasy result. But real life isn’t always real pretty, especially in 2010.
When two people meet through online dating, they’re part actors and detectives, therapists and risk management analysts. They’re scoping each other out looking to see and hear if the real person resembles the online person they posted in words and photos. They’re looking to learn about who and where this other person is emotionally, mentally, spiritually, ethically, legally, and financially. They’re investigating to find out if there’s a possible match, and discovering the diamonds and dirt each person would be bringing into a relationship.
It creates a scenario that’s like where the Help Wanted section meets the Personal Ads…or where Dr. Ruth meets Judge Judy.
Many men and women today find their lives looking and sounding like the lyrics of a country music song. They lost their job their lost their wife or girlfriend, husband or boyfriend. So, they’ve courageously put themselves out there on the markets again, looking for work and looking for love – simultaneously. Having a partner to help you through tough times sure could make the struggling days and lonely nights a bit easier to manage.
So what’s a person to do, hold a sign at the traffic light near the local mall that reads, “Will Work for Sex and Love”?
Nah. While me thinks that might be a fairly effective strategy (since all you need is one), prostitution and panhandling are illegal in most places across the U.S. Besides, neither one is socially acceptable or the foundation for a lasting relationship. And anyway, where I live in Arizona, it’s 110 degrees every day standing on the street corners.
So, whether they realize it or not, many men and women doing online dating today are basically carrying signs and/or issues based on their emotions of trying to survive a struggling economy. These real world matters can affect one’s sense of self-worth, confidence, and approach to dating and relationships. They also affect how a potential partner may judge you.
Sadly, I’ve seen a few relationships crash and burn recently. They starred a man and a woman who shared magic between them. They were great individuals who came together to form an even greater couple. You couldn’t help but feel happy for them. But the economy was taking its toll on one of them, which quickly took its toll on both of them. The other person got scared. And the magic disappeared faster than you could say foreclosure or unemployment.
Today, the romantic stimulus can get kissed goodbye from a lack of economic stimulus.
People with a good work ethic don’t usually get lazy overnight. Situations change. Luck changes. Economies fluctuate. So, do housing prices. Even many of the mightiest and most successful men and women have had to eat huge servings of humble pie lately.
Whether you are doing online dating in Paradise Valley, Arizona, or Intercourse, Pennsylania, Christmas, Florida or Fort Bliss, Texas, there are plenty of good fish worth catching. Just because they may be down temporarily, doesn’t mean you abruptly count them out. Keep in mind, many relationships were either started in or survived the Great Depression. Ultimately, it’s what a person has in their heart, whether their personality, beliefs, likes and dislikes, dreams and feelings are compatible with yours.
As far as subjects of online dating today are graded, chemistry should count for more than accounting.
Who knows? You seeing enough of the goodness in a struggling man or woman to start a personal relationship with them could be all they need to rise up professionally and be better than ever. It’s also possible this person will truly appreciate you and work hard for your love.
Who knows? In this economy, you might be able to find the priceless love of your life at one temporarily low, low price. And nobody ever wants to pass up a great bargain.
Tags: internet dating, online dating, online dating profiles, sign of the times, struggling economy
A Review of a Virtual Home for Virgins
Aug 16, 2010 Dating Websites
Don’t get too intrigued here boys and girls. You’ll probably be more entertained by reading some of the previous posts.
You probably don’t qualify to read this article and act on it. But don’t worry about it. Most people today over the age of 18 don’t qualify either. Besides, you probably aren’t even really interested in the news this article has to offer. But that’s okay, too. Most people over the age of 18 wouldn’t really care either.
So, why is this article not for you? Because it deals with a segment of society that has fewer qualified applicants than the U.S. Marines. This article is written for the exclusive group of singles who are virgins.
YouAndMeArePure.com is an online dating site that describes itself as a friendly place for virgins to connect. It is the brainchild of Lety and Jose Colin, a married couple who themselves abstained from having sex until they were married. The intent of the site is to work as a tool for singles who value purity.
While this is an interesting niche concept for an online dating service, the business model seems to have some holes in it. Access to profiles is allegedly only granted to other virgins. However, personal profiles on the website also happen to be free to create. Despite the stern warnings of a policy that the site is for virgins only, how in the world would they know if you are or aren’t?
The founders of YouAndMeArePure.com say virginity is an important common aspect and precious gift between two people that can lead to close friendships or marriage. They say it brings bonding power that cannot be purchased with all the money in the world.
However, visitors to the website can purchase V-Cards which are literally designed for people to be proud card carrying virgins. Also for sale are gift certificates to the site, as well as upgrades in membership.
The website and its content appear as though they may have been created by a virgin web designer. Captions for the photos of couples on the site readily admit the people featured are models. It must tough to find virgins, let alone virgins who will allow their photos to be posted on an internet dating website.
Tags: abstain, internet dating, online dating, singles, virgins
Online Dating, The Giving Tree, and Monica Lewinsky
Aug 8, 2010 Best of BOD
What does a children’s book have to do with an online dating blog you ask? Everything.
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein is a classic for all ages and a classic for all times. The book tells the story of a boy and a very kind and generous tree. It covers the relationship as it evolves with age until they both are very old. The boy has become an old man. The tree has given him everything to the point of being nothing more than a good stump for sitting and resting.
Years ago at beautiful Martha’s Vineyard I saw Shel Silverstein. He was riding a bicycle. I was busy working as a television journalist covering the frenzy of the Clinton’s secluded family escape/vacation there. It was the day after President Clinton’s historic address to the nation regarding his affair or lack thereof with the woman with the most infamous stained dress in American history, Monica Lewinsky.
I could do nothing more than to thank Shel Silverstein, tell him how I admired his work, and how The Giving Tree made a difference in my life. It has and continues to do so.
My intuition just gave me the idea of starting this online dating blog. (Or at least it was the first time I heard it!) In either case, I listened and immediately followed up on creating it.
Never in a million years did I think my life would turn out the way it did. I didn’t expect to be a 40-something, single Daddy living in Arizona writing a blog that shares a voice about love, life, and finding a great relationship. But here I am doing exactly that. Perhaps the reason I often joke about how my life is living proof God has a sense of humor is because I believe it. : )
Truth be told, I can tell you The Giving Tree is on my mind and in my heart in starting this blog. I suppose it’s part of my own personal starting over…yet again.
But I believe I know how the universe works. The more you give in life, the more you get. If I help others through this blog, and am in some way instrumental in a man or a woman experiencing personal growth or finding their ideal relationship partner, then that alone would be a valuable reward.
The ultimate gift in doing this online dating blog would be if in some way it helped me to attract the woman of my dreams who I could love and give to until I am an old man who provides her with a wrinkled, but safe and comfortable place to rest.
Tags: internet dating, Monica Lewinsky, online dating, singles
Online Dating: It is what it is!
Aug 8, 2010 Best of BOD
“It is what it is. We know what it is.” Starting a new blog is a formal event in the informal communication of social media. You get only one chance to write a first post, and one opening line to compose for it. I hoped to launch BlogOnlineDating.com with a memorable message that was simple and social, but also special and playful.
Yes, I’m a true romantic at heart. But I’m also a “guy’s guy” with a sense of humor and I like being a member of both clubs. So, after spending time carrying the question about what to write for a first but lasting impression with myself and you, I reached out to an old, familiar friend.
Martin Scorcese’s classic mobsters movie “Goodfellas,” is one of my all-time favorites. I know basically every line from the film. In one scene, Henry Hill (played by Ray Liotta) is told by his bosses, Paulie Cicero (Paul Sorvino) and Jimmy Conway (Robert DeNiro) that his cheating on his wife Karen ( Lorraine Bracco) by moving into a love shack has gone too far. He has to go home to her right away. He has to keep up appearances. As only DeNiro can do, he simply describes the situation of Henry’s love on the side by saying, “It is what it is. We know what it is.”
And so it goes with the world of online dating. It is what it is. We know what it is. In starting this online dating blog, I could have posted another classic Conway/DeNiro line such as, “Always keep your mouth shut and never rat on your friends.” But it wouldn’t have been as positive. One of the rules to attract others through online dating sites is to be positive. You don’t have any interest in falling in love with a negative partner who’s a whiner, complainer, blamer, or professional victim, right? (Yeah I know, where was I 20 years ago when you have read this? Lol!)
When it comes to online dating it is what it is. The internet is the new “Fix me up with your friend” or virtual singles bar. Let’s enjoy the journey. Hopefully, participating in this blog will be a part of your journey for as long or short as your search for love and a relationship goes. In conclusion, I’ll be positive and look at the bright side. I may attract the lovely woman of my dreams with this blog post even though I’m writing it while sitting here in my underwear. That’s only possible through the technology of online dating. Thank you. It is what it is!
Tags: internet dating, online dating, singles