Why do BBW’s Get to Throw Their Weight Around in Online Dating?
Oct 23, 2010 Dating True Stories
I hear voices. So what? I hear songs, too. In fact, I can still sing along with Ray Stevens’ huge hit from 1970, “Everything is Beautiful.” Part of the lyrics was, “Everybody’s beautiful in their own way…”
Bigger is better. Yeah I’ve heard. There are popular reasons for it such as a value meal, better cushion for the pushin, more to love, and so on.
I’m just like you. In some ways I wish I was bigger. In other ways I wish I was smaller. Guess all you want.
Size matters. I get it. But looks matter, too. Don’t they? To me they do. That’s why I’m using this online dating blog to generate food for thought about BBWs.
Long before online dating and nine years after Ray Stevens’ greatest hit, Carole Shaw had hers. She deserves credit for coining and copyrighting the phrases “Big Beautiful Women” and “BBW” when she launched BBW Magazine for plus-size women.
No matter how accurate a term it is, nobody wants to be labeled as “morbidly obese.” It’s just not flattering. Nor is it socially acceptable.
I also understand that saying “Fat” ain’t where it’s at. Full-figured seems diplomatic and user friendly. Plus-sized sounds pretty positive, too. But these softened descriptions and all others like them don’t add up to BBW. It’s a term that’s grown more mainstream than the magazine and its marketing mission ever was.
Good for Carole Shaw and her creativity and entrepreneurial spirit. However, I just want to weigh in that I find fault with her phrases the way they are used today in online dating and society in general. Here’s why with just one case in point.
Years ago there was a dancer named Avalanche at my friend Shawn’s rather tame bachelor party. She said she was 402 pounds. She was warned that she wouldn’t get paid if she took off her clothes in her performance. Depending on the person, her appearance was the highlight or lowlight of the evening festivities.
It’s important to state that this woman put herself through the laughter and ridicule in return for money. No one forced her to do such shows. I remember she body slammed my friend who is a big guy and practically killed him. He was still sore a week later at the wedding. But what I vividly remember most and wished I didn’t was that when the light hit her face just right, she was one of the least attractive people I’ve ever seen. It had little to do with her weight.
I’m glad that the online dating industry features a sizable niche for overweight singles and those who are attracted to them. Go for it people. Make your own online dating news. From a business standpoint, BBW online dating websites make sense given the fact that America is growing more obese every year.
I work hard to stay height weight proportionate. It’s not fun. Still, I’m totally fine with big women basically saying, “This is who I am, take it or leave it.” That’s their attitude and their choice.
Sure, we call old people “seniors.” But we don’t call all Caucasians, African-Americans, Latinos, tall people, short people, disabled people, or middle-aged, average-sized Irishmen like me – beautiful.
Simply put…to me, BBW is often BS today.
It’s an overused, overweight stereotype. Not all big or obese women are beautiful. And so they shouldn’t try to seize an advantage in online dating by throwing their weight around using the euphemism – BBW.
Tags: BBW, online dating news